Hot Dog Eating Contests and other non-sports

Let's a put a rest to those silly rumblings from people claiming that competitive eating contests, like the one we saw just mere days ago at Coney Island, should be considered "sport."

Congratulations to you, Joey Chestnut. You knocked off the six-time champ Kobayashi. Eating 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes is no laughing matter. In fact, we are all grateful that the mustard yellow belt has finally returned to America, its rightful owner. That was something which, I'm sure, we all lost a few seconds of sleep over (combined) in the past six years.

So what makes this contest a sport?

Arguments...

1. Hey idiot, look at all the work they are doing! Let's see you try to do that!

For one, everybody out there in readerland needs to calm down. I'll let you in on a little secret. There are many things I can't do.

I can't whistle. I can't snap my fingers. I can't sing. I could go on forever. But that doesn't make these things sports.

Two, yes it is a lot of work. Congratulations. Do you know what else is a lot of work?

Being a firefighter is hard work. So is farming. Has anyone gone off to war? I sure haven't, and I'm thankful for that. But I would assume that it takes the cake. Once again, none of these things are considered sports.

2. Well, ESPN reported and wrote about the contest, right?

That is absolutely correct. Do anyone want to take a stab at some of the other things they cover?

Try Scrabble. Spelling. Pool. High school cheerleading.

If anyone wants to argue about these, I'm all ears.

That's a wrap, folks - short and sweet. One big myth with two little arguments all shot down in a rather tidy writing.

Jim Rome Is... Listed As Doubtful?

As a big fan of sports radio shows from the national level all the way down to the local stations, it's always a good day when I can find an ESPN affiliate station and listen to a variety of shows and games as I go about my activities. That is, except for when Jim Rome is on.

Don't get me wrong. I would much rather listen to Jim Rome's radio show than 95% of the things I hear on the radio on a daily basis. But there isn't anything to his radio shows at all. And don't even get me started on his TV show. But I digress...

Let's take a look at what makes up the typical Rome show before diving into a sample example pulled straight off the air.

Included: Nice commentary early on in the show; interviews with big-time athletes
Not included: Any useful information at all from the interview; modesty from Rome

So why don't we go straight to the sample clip pulled off the air and typed up right here for your viewing pleasure.
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(coming back from a break halfway through the show)
Jim Rome: Thanks for joining us again everyone. I'm Jim Rome. Next up I have a special guest for you. Joining us live from the Cowboys facility in Valley Ranch, Texas, here's Cowboy safety Roy Williams. How are ya bud?

Roy Williams: Doing good Romes. Thanks for having me.

JR: Good man. Well Roy, all the talk this offseason has focused around Tony Romo, his mishandled snap in the playoffs, and his social life...

Rome then proceeds to ask Williams brainbusting questions like: Have you been working out and getting ready for the season? Do you think you can make the playoffs this year? What is your favorite color? How is the club scene down in the Dallas-Fort Worth area? Are you having a good day?

Skipping ahead in the action, we move to the point where Rome has let Roy Williams go and is taking his first caller.

Caller: Man Rome, that interview with Roy Williams was just sick. Awesome interview man. You always have the best ones. Great job!

Jim Rome: Thanks. I know it was one of the greatest interviews ever. There was so much good information out there for everyone to take in. I always have the top athletes on and dig to find information for my viewers. Dang I run such a good show here. It's too bad we are running out of time for my show today or I could have on yet another amazingly informative and entertaining interview for you guys out there in radio land. Wow, I just love doing the greatest interviews in the country. Someone has to do it, and it might as well be me.
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So there you have it folks. Jim Rome, dropping information all over the place... The only question is: after trying to pat himself for the duration of the show, will Rome avoid straining his back so that he'll be healthy for tomorrow's show?